I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
