Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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