alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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