I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
