I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
