2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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