ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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