if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize