$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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