On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
