Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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