I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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