"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
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Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
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i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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