White coat. Heels.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
