I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
