yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I love you. Go after that dick
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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