i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
