they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
