Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
