ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
