Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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