So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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