in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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