So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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