I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
