yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dicks are not precious.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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