dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there was a trapeze. enough said
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
