i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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