D3 body, D1 cock
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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