I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
