it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize