Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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