and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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