I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
