I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
