I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize