this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
