mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
