So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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