i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
