butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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