Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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