She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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