you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
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You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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