Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize