once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
