shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
