No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
