You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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