it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
