everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize