Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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