because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
