Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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