when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
