i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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