Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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